If we want to rediscover our identity in Christ, we need to start with the right foundation: the Father.
Before we fully understand what Christ has done for us, we must first have a clear revelation of who God is, what His heart is like, and how deeply He loves us. Our understanding of God’s adoptive nature and the Father’s unconditional love for us is essential to living a healthy, victorious Christian life.
Our Christian identity is deeply connected to how we see God. If our understanding of the Father is skewed, then our Christian identity will also be distorted.
In John 14, Jesus said, “If you have seen Me, you have seen the Father.” While Jesus is the way (John 14:6), the destination is the Father! Jesus shows us the love and nature of our Father to everyone.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
Jesus explains the Father to a religious leader who believed he already knew God. The core of the gospel and our identity in Christ is not fear, judgment, or condemnation — it is rooted in God’s unconditional love. Our understanding of God must be based on His Word—not our theology, church culture, or life experiences! However, for many, their experiences shape their understanding and theology about God and His nature.
Father Figures
Today, I want to focus on experiences with father figures in our lives, which often influence how we view God, rather than relying on His Word and the witness of the Spirit.
Do you remember the Andy Griffith Show? It aired from 1960 to 68 and remains one of America’s all-time favorite sitcoms. Griffith played Sheriff Andy Taylor, a widower raising his son Opie, played by Ron Howard, in Mayberry, North Carolina. Mayberry was shown as an ideal place to live. They lived with Aunt Bee, who helped take care of them—she was always cooking up something tasty! An almost perfect home for Opie. Andy often took Opie fishing and was always a loving, caring father full of wisdom and patience.
Growing up in 60s America, Andy seemed like the perfect dad! Oh, and Mayberry looked like an ideal place to live. In 2004, TV Guide ranked Andy Taylor as #8 on their list of the “50 Greatest TV Dads of All Time.” 1
But here’s the reality: we don’t live in Mayberry! There’s no perfect town, no perfect Aunt Bee to help, and no flawless Andy dad! Even if we were raised in good homes with healthy parents, they weren’t perfect. Worse, some (if not many) are raised by dysfunctional parents. Our views of parents, especially fathers and father figures, can shape how we see God.
Who Do You Say I am?
In Matthew 16:13-20, Jesus asks the disciples several important questions. He first asks them, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” (Matt. 16:13 NIV)
They answer, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” (Matt. 16:14 NIV)
They responded by telling Jesus what others in Israel were saying about Him or how their culture viewed Jesus. Some say John the Baptist or a type of “Holiness Preacher.” Others say Elijah, a miracle-working prophet, or a “Power Preacher.”
Still, others say Jeremiah or the “Weeping Prophet.” Yet their answers or the culture’s view of Jesus reflected different insights into who He is.
Jesus then asks a second question, “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” (Matt. 16:15 NIV)
Peter exclaims, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” (Matt. 16:16 NIV) Jesus responds to Peter, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven.” (Matt. 16:17 NIV)
The revelation of Jesus as the Son of God to Peter and the others didn’t come from their own human understanding or society’s common views of Jesus. God revealed this to them, both through His Word and by the Spirit.
Jesus said, in John’s gospel, “If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; and from now on you know Him and have seen Him.” (John 14:7 NKJV) Jesus is the exact representation of the Father!
Jesus came to free an orphaned planet and restore us in a relationship with Father God. He plainly declared that He and the Father were One, and if we know Him, we therefore know the Father. In other words, Jesus revealed the Father’s heart toward humanity—then and now! He is the loving, caring, forgiving Father we all long for. Perfect in every way and without sin.
God took the initiative as a loving God and Father by sending His only begotten Son to show His love for us! This is the true knowledge of our Heavenly Father!
Consider what Paul wrote in Romans, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom. 5:8 NIV)
However, our perception of the Father is often shaped by our experiences with our earthly fathers. Here are six common types of fathers:
Passive Father.
They can be preoccupied, indifferent, and often won’t tell you that he loves you. He only loves from a distance; we think that God is the same—distant, passive. Sometimes we can’t experience His love, so we just cope. Until healed, this can make it hard for us to experience love and intimacy with others and with God.
Performance-Oriented Father.
They have strict values and expectations—you must measure up and perform well! We become strivers, wanting people to notice us. We want to be valued for what we do. You may feel you never pray enough or do enough.
Many raised by this type of Father try to earn love and often become legalists. But always remember, love is a gift! For those struggling with performance orientation, it’s a challenge to sit at the feet of Jesus! Performance orientation is a major cause of depression. Our identity is as daughters and sons, not in what we do!
Authoritative Father.
The only interaction with this type of father is to correct. He is a legalist. There is little love in legalism. The Law was designed in love to bring us into Grace through Christ! If raised by this type of father, we might believe that God is harsh and impatient. We might operate in shame and blame others when things go wrong. We can become intolerant of others and their mistakes.
Abusive or Accusing Father.
They are physically, sexually, or verbally abusive. Often, they inflict unfair punishment and intentionally cause pain. They usually motivate through shame. Any kind of abuse distorts our image of God and destroys our trust in male authority. As a result, we won’t draw near to God or to those in authority because of a lack of trust.
Jesus even expressed this to the people of Israel, “… How often I longed to gather your children … you were not willing.” (Matt. 23:37 NIV) Why? Because they lacked trust, were afraid to risk rejection, and feared more pain.
Absent Father.
Not there for them, always working or gone. Maybe divorced or left. We might feel orphaned. We can take on too much responsibility, which can make us angry and resentful.
I personally experienced this when my father divorced my mother during my teenage years, as the oldest of five children. Adults would tell me, “Well, you must be the man of the house now.” I quickly started to resent my father, and it took nearly twenty years before I could fully forgive him and let go of the judgments I held against him.
A Pew Research poll found that the number of children living apart from their fathers has more than doubled over the last 50 years, from 11 percent in 1960 to 27 percent in 2010. “We see that the share of children living apart from their dads has more than doubled, and at the same time, we see that a three-fold increase in divorce – clearly the trends fit together.” 2
Here is the good news: God is not distant; He is near and a Father to the fatherless!
Affectionate father.
They are loving, attentive, listening, and helping to train and empower their natural and spiritual sons and daughters! Training, equipping! Fathers, consider what Paul wrote.
“Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.]” Col. 3:21 (Amp.)
But what is your understanding of who Jesus Christ is?
A good teacher? A prophet? Do you see Him as loving, compassionate, and forgiving?
Or do you see Him as narrow, harsh, and judgmental—possibly like your biological father or father figures in your life?
Do you see Jesus as the Son of God, your Lord? Or maybe you believe He is the Savior of the world but haven’t made Him your personal Savior yet?
Perhaps you’re hesitant to get close because of past experiences with fathers in your life. How we perceive Jesus not only shapes whether we are born again, but also whether we walk in victory or defeat, in grace or under the law.
Renew the Mind
However, Satan tries to blind our minds to the gospel and the revelation of God’s true nature. Many people don’t believe in God. Others are offended by Him, often due to negative experiences with father figures or other life situations.
“But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe.” (2 Cor. 4:3-4 NKJV)
The battleground for Satan is our minds! We must take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Thoughts and beliefs can become strongholds or fortresses in our minds that need to be destroyed through knowing God’s Word and healing by the Spirit! You play an active role in this!
Consider Paul’s admonition,
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, (2 Cor. 10:3-5 NKJV)
Paul encourages us to renew our minds. We are to be “transformed by the renewing of our minds.” (Rom. 12:2 NKJV)
However, the enemy aims to prevent us from knowing Jesus as Savior and God as Father!
Religious doctrine, false teachings, and life experiences often hinder our understanding of the true knowledge of our Heavenly Father. To an orphaned planet, Jesus came in human flesh—fully God and yet fully man—so we might be reconciled and adopted by our loving Father.
“So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” (Rom. 8:15 NLT)
Maybe your church upbringing depicted God as strict and judgmental. (However, for those in Christ, judgment was removed by the cross.) Maybe your father or a father figure was stern or absent. These experiences contrast with God’s true nature.
Our understanding of the Father must be founded on the knowledge of His loving, merciful, and compassionate nature, along with His righteousness and holiness that require His judgment on sin, which was ultimately fulfilled through Christ on the cross.
In Jesus, we don’t need to fear God’s anger or wrath; instead, we receive His love and walk with Him as His children, sharing in the abundant life He designed for us.
Reflection
Take a moment to forgive your dad, your spiritual fathers, or anyone else who has let you down and perhaps misrepresented the true image of God for you. Don’t let your earthly experience stop you from having a wonderful relationship with Father God!
Prayer
Father, today I choose to forgive those who have hurt me, disappointed me, and helped shape a false image of You. I release them and break the agreement with judgments against them. Heal my heart from father wounds.
Break the enemy’s power over my life caused by these hurts. I renounce my agreement with the enemy’s lies. Holy Spirit, come with Your healing presence. Heal my heart and renew my mind to the truth of who Father God is, in Jesus’ name!
Footnotes
1 TV Guide, June 20, 2004, issue
2 Pew Research Poll released 6-15-11
