“Lord, Teach Us to Pray, Pt. 7”
Forgiveness is Essential
Throughout this series, I’ve explored the importance of the Lord’s Prayer (Luke 11:1-4). Now, I want to conclude by emphasizing the vital role of forgiveness and how it affects receiving answers to our prayers.
“And forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” Luke 11:4 NKJV
After asking God for daily needs and provision, we should also seek His forgiveness. Jesus connects these two petitions to help us see our need for forgiveness. To receive God’s forgiveness, we must acknowledge or confess our sins.
Paul tells us in Rom. 3:23,
“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” NLT
Unless sin is confessed and covered by the blood of Christ, it continues to grow. Confession, or asking for forgiveness for our mistakes, helps us stay humble and in a right relationship with God. It then becomes easier to forgive others because we understand that all of us are weak and prone to sin without Jesus.
After we confess and ask for our forgiveness, God expects us to extend the grace of forgiveness to others.
Augustine called this request “the terrible petition” because if we pray, “Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us…” and at the same time harbor unforgiveness, we are asking God not to forgive us.1
When John Wesley served as a missionary to the American Colonies, it is said that he had a difficult time with General James Oglethorpe—who was known for his pride and harshness. On one occasion, Oglethorpe declared, “I never forgive.” Wesley replied, “Then sir, I hope you never sin!” 2 To sin is human, to forgive is divine.
A key aspect of effective prayer is having a forgiving spirit. Mark 11:25 NLT says,
“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”
The power of faith and prayer is connected to your ability to live free from offense and unforgiveness. You can’t experience the fullness of grace while holding onto unforgiveness. In my book, Fulfill Your Dreams, I discuss in detail in chapter six the necessity of living in forgiveness.
The Pain of Injustice
Last week, the assassination of Charlie Kirk left many of us stunned and grieving. Such a tragic and heartbreaking event reminds us of the brokenness of this world and the deep need for God’s healing presence. In moments like these, anger and bitterness can easily take root, but Christ calls us to a higher path. We must forgive—not because the act was small or forgettable, but because forgiveness is the way of the cross. Just as Jesus forgave those who crucified Him, we too are called to release our pain into God’s hands and trust Him for justice, comfort, and peace.
On June 17, 2015, another tragic event occurred at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal (AME) Church in Charleston, South Carolina.
During a prayer meeting, a young Caucasian man named Dylann Roof entered the church and murdered nine innocent African Americans, including the senior pastor, State Senator Clementa Pinckney. Police arrested Roof the next day in North Carolina, and he later confessed to the murders, saying he intended to incite a race riot. The only survivor described how the prayer group had openly welcomed the young man into their prayer meeting that night. Genuine love knows no boundaries or prejudice.
It was another tragic mass shooting. Our nation was stunned, bewildered, and angry. Yet, during this tragedy, the victims’ church and family members showed forgiveness on a level few of us have experienced or even imagined.
At Roof’s arraignment, children who had lost their mother told him,
“You hurt me. You hurt a lot of people. But God forgives you; may God have mercy on your soul. I forgive you.”
Only a heart changed by God’s love can forgive like this—the depth of God’s mercy and grace is beyond words.
Desire for Justice
We often justify rage and anger over an offense without offering forgiveness. Responding to injustice with forgiveness is essential for living in peace and purpose.
When you forgive, your future grows. Clinging to resentment keeps you stuck in the past and stops you from seeing things from God’s perspective.
Author Paul Boose, in Chicken Soup for the Soul, stated it like this,
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”
Life is too short to live with a limited view of the future.
Our human response to injustice is often a desire for vindication. We want the wrong to be corrected and the offender to be punished.
The reality is that unjust actions by others surround us in our world. Often, wrongdoings go uncorrected, and the guilty remain unpunished. Even when justice is served, many still hold onto unforgiveness toward those who caused the offense.
Harboring unforgiveness causes bitterness and blocks God’s grace in our lives. Forgiveness is how God gives us freedom from unjust events we face.
Jesus Forgave
During his suffering on the cross, Jesus forgave those who crucified Him, saying,
“Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” Luke 23:34 NLT
The religious leaders, crowds, and soldiers lacked understanding, and their ignorance led them to kill Jesus. God shows the depth of his love by forgiving us, and he expects us to do the same for others.
Jesus broke the power of judgment, “they know not what they do.” Jesus said we should not judge others, and we won’t be judged. Two sides of the same coin!
Most of us share a common dislike for injustice. Yet, as seen in the Charleston families, true love for others is demonstrated by making forgiveness a daily practice. Only Jesus can cover the debt!
We are genuinely free when we decide to forgive. It’s a deliberate choice, and the emotions will come later. We should live and love with forgiveness in our hearts.
Jesus made a profound statement in Luke 17:1:
“It is impossible that no offenses should come…” NKJV
In this passage, Jesus explains that people will hurt and offend us in life, and our response should be to forgive. The English word “offenses” comes from the Greek word skándalon, which can mean a “stumbling block or trap.” Skándalon refers to the act of setting a trap in someone’s path, similar to the bait stick of an old-fashioned mousetrap. 3
In the New Testament, skándalon refers to a trap set by the enemy. In both the New and Old Testaments, the main issue with skándalon is how we connect with God. It becomes a barrier to faith and leads to stumbling and destruction. Jesus told his followers in Luke 17:1 that obstacles to our faith and traps from the enemy will occur in this life.
How? When people wrong you, the enemy will try to trap you with unforgiveness.
When you hold onto offense and unforgiveness, you have taken the “bait” of his trap and are caught. Harboring unforgiveness fosters bitterness and limits God’s grace in our lives. The way out of the enemy’s trap and bondage is to forgive the offender. Forgiveness is God’s way of giving us freedom from the unjust events that happen in life.
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
In Matthew 18, Jesus told the parable of the unforgiving servant. Peter approached Jesus and asked,
21 ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’ 22 ‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven!’ Matt. 18:21-22 NLT
Picture Peter’s shock when Jesus told him he had to forgive someone 490 times! Theologians have debated this number, suggesting Jesus was offering a contrast to Lamech’s boast in Genesis 4:24, where he bragged about avenging himself seventy-seven times.4 Ultimately, though, Jesus was teaching Peter and us that we should keep forgiving those who wrong us. Our human instincts and desire for revenge don’t limit God’s mercy and kindness.
However, forgiving others doesn’t mean we should neglect to set healthy boundaries or ignore the harm they cause us. Abusive behaviors must be stopped, and we should take precautions to prevent further harm, especially in cases of child, domestic, and sexual abuse. In this context, Jesus was addressing the spiritual issue of unforgiveness—the enemy’s trap and the importance of forgiving others.
Jesus continued the story, Matt. 18:23-35 NLT:
23 Therefore, the kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. 25 He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
26 But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
28 But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
29 His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. 30 But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
31 When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. 35 That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.
Today, we do not enslave people or imprison them for debt. However, in Jesus’ time, anyone who heard this parable immediately understood its significance. Jesus used strong language to highlight the importance of forgiveness.
Being in debt to a king for millions of dollars, only for him to order the sale of everything you own and the enslavement of you and your family to pay it off, would have been a terrifying prospect for the listener. The debt was so enormous that it would have taken the man thousands of years to repay. There was simply no way to settle it in his lifetime; it was a life sentence of misery with no chance of escape.
The man begged the king for mercy, even claiming he would repay the debt, which would have been impossible. The king felt compassion and forgave his unpayable debt. Once again, the reader in Jesus’ time would have understood how extraordinary this act of mercy and compassion was.
Unfortunately, the man didn’t show the same kindness to his fellow servant, who owed him only a few months’ wages. He grabbed the other servant by the throat and threatened to throw him in debtor’s prison. The servant begged for mercy, but the man locked him up until he could pay back his debt.
When other servants reported the injustice to the king, and the man who had been forgiven a huge debt stood before the angry king to explain his actions, the king reminded him of the compassion he had shown. He told the man that he should have shown the same mercy he received by forgiving his fellow servant’s debt.
So, the king had the man thrown in prison, where he was tortured until he could pay off his debt. Essentially, Jesus explained the importance of this story by saying that our heavenly Father will allow us to be tormented if we don’t genuinely forgive others.
Who’s tormenting us? God? No! We’re imprisoned by our own bitterness.
But who can pay the debt? Jesus! We need to turn to Him because He paid the price for others’ mistakes. The debt or justice you’re seeking can only be fulfilled in Him!
Forgiveness is essential with God—it is vital for our relationship with Him and others.
Aspects of Forgiveness
Through Jesus Christ, God’s love, grace, and mercy were given to humanity. By putting our faith in Him, we can receive God’s gift of grace and forgiveness for our sins—a debt we could never pay off. According to Paul, our complete salvation (including forgiveness, healing, and deliverance) comes from God’s grace and our faith, not by trying to earn it through religious efforts to satisfy the debt of sin (Eph. 2:8-9).
Just as the king in the parable of the unforgiving servant, God has shown us mercy by not giving us what we deserve. Instead, he offers us grace that brings us back to him. This same grace is changing us to be more like Christ in our character and likeness.
The concept of “grace” comes from the Greek word cháris, which means a benefit, favor, or gift. It’s about receiving something we don’t deserve. Mercy, on the other hand, is about not getting what we do deserve. Grace is also a divine power that gives us the strength to act with love and forgiveness toward others, even when they haven’t asked for it or don’t deserve it. This empowerment helps us overcome our human tendency to seek justice and revenge.
Many people wrongly believe that forgiving others for their mistakes lets them off the hook. Their logic often goes like this: “If I forgive them, it’s basically the same as letting them get away with it, unpunished—so I’ll never be able to forgive them.”
Letting go of anger can be tough because of the hurt and pain they’re still dealing with, and it seems like they have every right to hold onto the offense. They mistakenly think that by not forgiving and holding a grudge, they’re punishing the person or getting revenge.
Deep down, they yearn for justice. Yet, often the person who caused the hurt isn’t even aware of the pain and anger they’re feeling. Only Jesus can pay the debt that person owes!
As Jesus said in Matthew 18, when someone refuses to forgive, they end up trapped in bitterness, which hurts them, not the person they’re upset with. Clinging to bitterness can even lead to serious health problems. The truth is that forgiving others really sets you free—lifting you out of the prison of unforgiveness. Some people think time heals all wounds, but in fact, it only hides the deep pain inside. Real healing begins when you choose to forgive those who have hurt you.
Everyone is responsible for their own mistakes and actions, and it’s up to God to judge, not you. God is full of mercy and compassion, forgiving those who come to Him with humility, and our role is to share the blessings we’ve received. By forgiving others, you can mend your relationship with the Father and let His grace flow freely.
However, some people also mistakenly believe that forgiving someone means they have to reconcile with that person. While Jesus taught us to forgive and strive for peace with others (Eph. 4:3), this doesn’t mean every relationship can or should be repaired.
For example, you might need to forgive someone who has passed away or someone who’s been incarcerated for a crime. If a family member or friend has molested your kids, it’s crucial to set healthy boundaries to protect their safety and the safety of others.
Another example could be a business associate who lied about business matters or committed fraud to harm you. All these individuals deserve forgiveness, but reestablishing the relationship, or the level of relationship that existed before the wrongdoing, might not be possible or healthy in some cases. In other words, forgiveness is vital, but restoring the relationship depends on the specific situation.
At first, you might not want to forgive someone who has hurt you, but it’s necessary. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling—your feelings will eventually follow your decision.
When you choose to forgive others, God will give you the strength to release the hurt they caused. His grace will begin to heal the pain in your heart toward those who have wronged you. Mercy and grace are central to our loving Father’s nature; learning to live a life of forgiveness allows us to walk in His compassion and grace.
Prayers of Forgiveness
Perhaps someone has hurt or wronged you deeply. Can you forgive them and release judgments today? To live your life as God intends and fulfill your purpose, you need to act with grace and forgiveness toward others.
Ask the Lord to remove judgments from your heart toward those you’ve struggled to forgive and to start healing your heart from the pain you’ve experienced. Here is some language you can use to begin.
Father, I choose to forgive those who have hurt and sinned against me. I forgive …………….. (name). I offer them the gift of unconditional forgiveness, with no strings attached. They owe me nothing. I trust you to turn this into good. Lord, I forgive him/her and ask that you also forgive them, Lord, and forgive me for judging him/her.
Lord, I also forgive myself for my failures and mistakes. I release them all. Lord, I want to be free. I want to break the enemy’s hold over my life. I place the cross of Jesus Christ between my heart and everything I was meant to receive from the law of sowing and reaping, because I choose mercy over judgment.
Jesus, I invite you now to go back to the past, where the hurts and wounds occurred, and begin healing me of the ……………. (anger, hate, self-hate, rejection, fear, etc.) that took place.
FootNotes
1 Haddon Robinson, Jesus’ Blueprint for Prayer (Grand Rapids, MI: Discovery House Publishers, 2000), 20-21.
2 Ibid., 21.
3 Gerhard Kittel, Gerhard Friedrich and Geoffrey William Bromiley, Theological Dictionary of the New Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: W.B. Eerdmans, 1985), 1037.
4 Roger L. Hahn, Matthew: A Commentary for Bible Students (Indianapolis, IN: Wesleyan Publishing House, 2007), 227.
